Lost Without You
by TvdCastle
Summary: She left on the morning after always, leaving him devastated but now they have to stick together because of certain orders. How will they take Kate's sniper down as well as get closer than ever. Will they fall in love with each other all over again and start a new chapter or will they back off. Genre 3 : Romance/Suspense COMPLETE NOW
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – Paths crossed**

**A/N: **This story will not be all sunshine and rainbows but it will be fun. Sit through the journey, I can guarantee a happy ending as I'm all for it. Enjoy!

**-** Be patient with me as this is something new for me and I would love to know what you all think. I'll continue only if you say so, so.. give me a review. ;)

**Genre: **Angst/Drama/Romance... a little of everything.

**Disclaimer:** These characters don't belong to me, Mr Marlowe and ABC are doing a darn good job with 'em.

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It had been raining incessantly since the past fourteen hours. The rain added to the monotony by making the night humid. It was a mess outside as the rain drops crashed on the ground with a loud pitter patter but in Richard Castle's loft, there was pin drop silence besides the sound of clicks and taps coming from the study room. Castle sat on his chair with his laptop kept on the desk. He was writing but not with the usual enthusiasm. A glass of whisky was kept beside the laptop and in seconds it was empty, just in one go. Castle hadn't shaved in weeks, his hair was matted, shirt was unbuttoned and his trouser had alcohol stains all over it. Everything about him showed negligence. He was typing, not a book but an email with tear-flooded eyes.

"_Beckett, Kate... Just tell me you are fine, one call, one email, one message...something, anything. Don't throw away your life Kate, I need you. I was distraught when you left the loft that morning; it felt like my whole world came crashing down on me. You lied Kate but I accepted you, I didn't care as long as you loved me but this is getting hard for me to handle. I can't take it anymore. I'll forget that it even happened but please come back. Just don't throw away your life Kate and that's all I ask. Even if you don't want to have a life with me, I'll be happy to distance myself as long as I know you are safe, you are alive"._

Castle saved the e-mail instead of sending it. He just wanted to know that she was alive. It had been hard to let go the first time when he'd told her that it was over in her apartment but now, after a night of passion, he knew that letting go of someone this close to his heart wasn't hard, it was impossible. He knew that things would not go back to normal immediately after the way she left him that morning. It had been a month since that day and he had tried to hate her with all his strength. He told himself again and again that she wasn't worth it after the way she treated him. He tried but all he could do was make himself love her a little less as falling out of love with her was impossible. By some miracle a little love had turned into hatred but the love was still there and he knew that her one apology could make him fall for her all over again. Did she love him enough to apologize to him? Did she love him enough to return his love? He just wanted her to be in his life as he had lost a good friend, loyal partner if nothing more.

All he could think was that if she came back by any chance, he will not risk the friendship again as falling in love with her was the greatest mistake he had ever made. He now considered that night, a mistake that destroyed what they had and what they could have had, though he knew that somewhere deep down he secretly cherished that night along with many other great memories he'd had of her.

_**A month ago...**_

_Beckett suddenly woke up as the sun's rays set the room ablaze with the bright yellow light. She smiled when she saw that Castle's arms rested around her waist, tugging her close to his chest. They were naked and the only thing that covered their body was a white bed sheet that was being shared by both of them. Kate's back rested against Castle's chest and she turned her head slightly to see him. Memories of last night flashed in her mind and she couldn't help looking at him asleep without thinking of how much his body could offer. Slightly moving from his grasp she managed to shake his hand off of her as he turned the other side in his sleep. She decided to wake him up with the smell of pancakes and hot coffee followed by a morning kiss. She slipped Castle's shirt on and headed towards the kitchen, closing the door softly behind her. She carried her mobile along. While she was making coffee, her phone beeped. A new message from Ryan. Kate opened it but with a little hesitation. It said:_

"_Beckett, the sniper was spotted just a few lanes away from here. I explained everything to Gates and she is ready to lift yours and Javi's suspension only if you take back your resignation and follow her orders. She's on call on this one. This is our final chance to get him, and then it's all over. You in?"_

_After a little thinking Kate glanced at the door of Castle's bedroom where he lay sound asleep. This was a chance to get over with all this. This case would have eventually come up and it would have created a problem in the near future. She could have a long and safe life with Rick without any danger to him or his family after putting this to rest. She wore her slightly wet clothes which had been discarded last night in the study room. She practically ran towards the door before Castle woke up but it was too late. He was already up. His husky morning voice stopped her from rotating the door knob._

'_Kate? Where are you going?' He asked with a confused look on his face._

'_Castle I got to go, they found him a few lanes away from the precinct...I have to put this case to rest... for me...for us...' she said, opening the front door, but instead of exiting, she came running towards him, grabbed his mouth like she had done the night before and planted the most passionate goodbye kiss she had ever given, the force making Castle move back a few steps. They parted with a loud pop, that's when she stared into his blue eyes which were doing their best to make her stay. It took all her courage to turn her back on him and resume her journey out of the loft, into the wilderness which would be nothing like home, like Castle._

'_Kate you are NOT thinking clearly...let us just sit down and think about it, we'll do it together-' he started but she cut him off._

'_Castle I can't do this...jump in a relationship without resolving things and I cant put you in harms way'_

'_Kate! Listen to me now...they will kill you, you know that...we've had this conversation earlier!' Castle yelled._

'_And it ends with **one** of us leaving...' she said, holding the door frame, her back still facing him._

'_If it's about last night...I'm sorry...we'll take it slow... I'll do what you want, I swear to god but please stay...' he said in a broken voice as tears came tricking down his cheek._

'_Rick...I want you... but that's selfish...good bye...' Beckett said, looking at him one last time with red watering eyes before she closed the door. When she stepped into the elevator, the front door opened again and she could hear him crying. She always ended up hurting him and she hated herself for doing so, even more than the sniper who wanted her dead._

'_Kate please...'_

'_Beckett!'_

'_NO! Come back to me...'_

_She heard him shout and cry and bang his hands against the metal elevator door but all she could do was stand there crying and breathing hard because of the shortage of breath in her lungs from crying nonstop since she had closed that loft door. She reminded herself again and again that hopefully one day they would have a life together if he could forgive her. She was doing this to secure their future, the future of their family and she hoped that he would understand it when the fate brought them together again. It was for the best._

Castle was sitting on the chair, staring blankly at the laptop screen as he remembered the heart-breaking memory of her leaving him. She didn't want him to follow her or go through it together. She wanted to face all her sorrows alone, denying him a part in them. He thought he could stop her but the truth is...no one can. He could only wait for their paths to cross oneday, let the universe sought itself. Everything happens for a reason and one can just follow his destiny. Maybe she would find a man whom she loves the way he loves her. Maybe one day she may realize what it feels like to be so unconditionally in love with someone that it drives you absolutely crazy.** If he meets her again, he doesn't know whether he would risk his heart again or save it from further damage.**

Castle was brought back from his trance-lost state just by a knock on the door. He wanted company as he had been alone since the past ten days, getting drunk and brooding in his underpants. Alexis was busy with college now and Martha was out on a world tour. He was longing for someone to be there for him, taking away his loneliness and showing him once again how to live life. Therefore he walked towards the front door with alacrity. When he opened the door, the person standing there was more of a shock than a surprise. He stood there staring at the person unable to decide how to react.

It was Katherine Beckett.

She was standing there wearing tattered and muddy clothes. Her body was bathed in mud and there was a small cut on her lower lip. At the sight of Castle, her scared eyes softened a little, flowing with love and her lips curved into an innocent smile but then things started getting blurry. She swayed to and fro and the world started rotating round and round before her eyes. As she fell forward, she just whispered-

'I'm lost Rick...without you I'm...'

She blacked out. She was about to get her face smashed against the floor but Castle caught her in his arms. He sat down on one knee, with her head resting on his shoulder and her body lying still against his kneeled leg. He didn't know what to do. There she was, lying in his arms, unconscious.

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**Should I continue? Its up to you. Liked it? Do tell. :)**

**Leave a review and I'll continue for you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 – Some Place Safe**

**A/N: **How you all finding it so far? Leave a review for me, will you? As my inbox's flooded, I don't check e-mails that often... so reviews are more appreciated. You can PM me too though.

- If you see my own review on my story, ignore it. Its just a friend bugging me. (Unfortunately she knows my password which I have to change now)

- Pardon my grammatical errors please :)

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, Andrew W Marlowe and ABC are doing a damn good job with 'em.

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Castle just stared at her, lying in his arms, unconscious. At that moment, he forgot the enmity and unresolved feelings he had and just realized how much of an impact she had on him. He reached for his pocket to grab his mobile and immediately called the ambulance. She lay in his arms breathing peace and contentment but looking pale. She had lost a few pounds and seemed more fragile than she really was. He lifted her with intense care but with much ease as if she was weightless and took her downstairs, saving the ambulance some time. Once she was safely admitted in the hospital, time literally flew as he informed everyone at the precinct and her dad about her whereabouts. He messaged Alexis and Martha as well, telling them that everything was fine. Time's pace changed along with the change in scene because between Kate's admission and doctor's report, time seemed to stand still. As soon as the doctor in charge of Kate showed, he was surrounded by Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, Jenny, Gates, Jim and Castle, all asking him about her condition.

'She's fine, she blacked out because of strain and over exhaustion, she's got a sprained ankle and a few stitches on her lower lip and left arm, actually her left arm had a deeper cut and some shattered glass fragments were also found embedded in the wound, but nothing severe...she just needs rest and a good diet... at most a pain killer for the cuts and bruises, you can meet her in an hour or so' he said, throwing a smile towards them before heading down the corridor.

Everyone took a sigh of relief, satisfied with the current situation as something worse could have happened too. Castle was still confused about what caused her to get those cuts on her arm and lower lip as well as why she was bathed in mud. He turned towards Ryan and Esposito for answers with questioning eyes and an understanding passed between them, though it seemed that even they didn't know the whole story. He decided to ask Kate and get the story out of her by hook or by crook because showing at his doorstep late at night after a month of absence and then blacking out in his arms was something unusual and difficult to digest. When the silence became unbearable, the most unexpected person seemed to break it. It was Gates and she spoke directly to Castle.

'Mr Castle... do you know that Detective Beckett's life is threatened?' she asked him and all he could do was give her a nod. _Yes I know._

'The man knows where she lives and she's on the run for her life... we can't give her sniper a second chance!' Gates said, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall.

'I understand...' Castle said and nodded for her to continue.

'Her every move is being tracked and since she didn't meet you for almost a month until now, the safest place for her is your loft. He'll not even think of looking for her there...' Gates was asking him to hide Kate in his loft. She had no idea about how badly things had ended between them and Castle didn't want to go through the same thing twice. Gates was quite brusque with him. He protested.

'But sir things aren't the same between us'.

'I don't know how things exactly are between you two but the focus here is Beckett's safety, do you care enough for her Mr Castle to keep your personal issues on hold for some time?' she asked, raising an eyebrow. The mention of Kate's safety got to him and he acquiesced to Gates orders without any further questions or excuses. It was about her safety and that's what he wanted all along, to know she was alive. The easiest way to keep a track of her was to make her stay 24/7 before his eyes though this idea disturbed him a little as the anger inside him hadn't dissolved and he was afraid that it would burst out of him in front of her.

'Is Richard Castle present here?' a nurse shouted as she came out from Beckett's room.

'Yes, I'm Richard Castle... is there any problem? Is she alright?' Castle asked in a worried voice.

'She's fine, just asking for you... you may go in' the nurse said, giving him a positive signal. Castle entered her room, with his head bowed but after he closed the door, he slowly raised his eyes to meet Kate's. She stared at him, glad to see a familiar face after all the chaos and madness she had been through. Castle walked to her bedside, pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down. He glided his fingers for a brief moment against the back of her soft hand resting on his side. He just wanted to make sure that she was alive and real, not his imagination or hallucination troubling him. Kate's eyes automatically closed for a second, cherishing his touch, taking it in. Trying not to touch sensitive conversation topics, he softly said:

'I dread meeting you in hospitals but I'm glad you're fine...'

'Thank you for...everything...' she said, with same softness in her voice that he had.

'Just what partners do, we're after all... just partners' he said with the same softness but making sure she got the hint. Beckett realized that he was hurting more than she was, not physically but mentally. Castle decided not to confront her right now thus he just decided to tell her what was in store for her next.

'You're coming with me to my place Kate... your dad will go and get what you need from your apartment... you can't go to that place, it's not safe' Castle told her frankly.

'I can't ask you to do that' she said. She didn't want him to do anything for her as he had already done a lot. He blindly followed her, comforted her, stood up for her, saved her but never expected anything from her in return. His love was boundless and she sometimes thought that there had to be some limit that she couldn't cross. She hoped that she hadn't crossed it by now because she still believed in them.

'You're right...you can't ask me to do anything for you... because I'll do it anyway if it means to keep you alive, and you don't even have to ask... coz Gates already did' he said staring at Kate but then again breaking the eye contact. He now started getting up from his chair, placing his hand on her bed for support. She had to do something to lessen the pain. She had to tell him how lost, insecure, guilty, incomplete, miserable, confused she had been for a month without him. She placed her hand on his hand that was resting on the bed for support. She held it tight.

'Stay Rick...I'm so-' she started but was interrupted by the sudden loss of contact between them, he had pulled his hand away from her grasp. The irony was clearly evident here: When he had asked her to stay that morning, she had walked away and now when she wanted him to stay, he was doing the same... walking away. Though the situation was about a hundred times more heart-breaking and complicated then than it was right now but she got an idea of how much it must have hurt him.

'You'll be discharged in a few hours and you'll come directly with me' Castle said, giving her a fake smile before he headed out. Outside, he gave everyone waiting a go sign. He really had changed... he remained demure when others spoke, not his usual cocky self... what had she done to him. Kate met everyone one by one but all she could think about was that she wasn't only risking her life but Castle's too by going with him to his loft. Castle knew that too but was ready to take her in anyway. That was really a brazen attempt on his part to save her life, the same life which she a while back was ready to give away just for a shot at her mother's killer and her shooter, not caring about how it would affect him. The sniper wasn't the obstacle in their relationship, she was.

**-CB -CB -CB -CB **

They both drove down to Castle's loft in silence. As Kate had sprained her ankle too, Castle helped her out of the car by holding her by the waist with his right hand and placing her left arm around his neck, so that he was sure of his grip on her. They went up the elevator, staying close to each other. They couldn't help it. She smelled nice, the same perfume she wore when she had showed up at his door and kissed him. The same she wore that unforgettable night which could have led to the start of a new chapter in their lives if the morning that followed hadn't gone so awfully wrong. They reached the front door and Castle opened the lock with one hand, the other still supporting Kate. As soon as the door clicked open, Kate walked slowly towards the couch on her own while Castle stayed there, bending a little to pick up a note lying on the wooden loft floor. Someone had slipped it in from under the door_. It was a message, addressed to Castle from him, the sniper... Cole Maddox. What really had happened this past month to make him so frustrated with her? Castle decided to open it in front of her and ask her the whole story of what exactly she had gotten herself into._

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**_Should I continue? Liked it? Any suggestions/Ideas? __Leave a review! Thank you for reading._**

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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – It's Complicated**

**A/N: **How you all finding it so far? Leave a review for me, will you? As my inbox's flooded, I don't check e-mails that often... so reviews are more appreciated. You can PM me too though.

- This chapter is dedicated to all of you who reviewed! Your reviews made my day :) Keep them coming!

- If you see my own review on my story, ignore it. Its just a friend bugging me. (Unfortunately she knows my password which I have to change now)

- Pardon my grammatical errors please :)

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, Andrew W Marlowe and ABC are doing a damn good job with 'em.

* * *

Castle shut the entrance door with his leg, not loosening his grip on that piece of paper. He started moving slowly towards the couch where Beckett was sitting. She had rested her sprained ankle on the table in front and was staring at him as he walked. Castle seated himself on the other end of the couch, the spot furthest from her. Kate noticed the paper and his worried expression which cajoled her to ask him what was wrong.

'What's up?' she asked, after staring at him for a while and noticing no change in his expression.

'Kate...' he began but then again there was a long pause. Kate raised an eyebrow at him, asking him to continue.

'It's a message from your sniper... Cole Maddox?' he said, confirming the name in the end. Even the mentioning of his name made Kate uneasy.

'Oh god... he knows I'm here' she said, moving her hand through her hair and placing her palms on her eyes. How could've she been so foolish to come here, knowing that her every move was being tracked.

'What does it say?' she asked, after seeping in the first news. Castle did not wait for her to ask again. He read aloud immediately.

"_Richard Castle, now that you are already involved, welcome. Your girlfriend here has some files which are very important to me. They are worth killing for and I mean that literally. Unless you both don't cooperate and hand them over to me, I will kill everyone your partner loves. Since you are top on the list, I'll start with you. _

_You have 7 days. I will send you a reminder every day. Don't cross the deadline or it will get deadly. You'll drop the files in an alley. Detective Beckett will know which one I'm talking about. Don't visit the place unless you have the files or I will kill you there and then. One more thing, if you both inform anyone else, he/she dies along with you_

_BTW – May your friend here, Mr Smith, rest in peace"._

'Son of a bitch...' Kate hissed with tightly clenched teeth.

It was a threat and many things were mentioned there that Castle didn't know about. The anger inside him was boiling, forcing him to act impudent and get the story out of her. He tried to calm himself down and ease his partner in crime first. Kate was just red with rage and cursing herself for involving him in this mess. Now his life was threatened all because of her. She was trying hard to remain strong and not to break in front of him as they had no time to lose. Every minute of their life counted now and seven days would go by fast, she knew that.

'Tell me what happened Kate... a month's a lot' Castle asked, not with scared but with determined eyes. She told him the entire story where she had been and how she had survived, without him there to save her or support her.

**_A month ago..._**

_After leaving the loft that morning, Kate had been adamant to catch the guy who had shot her, the same who was related to her mother's murder somehow. She asked for his location and headed straight to that place, Ryan and Esposito having her back all the time. She caught a glimpse of his face. He was standing on the same spot where he had been captured before on the traffic-cam. He hadn't moved an inch. It was as if he had been ready to get caught all along. The moment he saw Beckett, he started running. Kate chased him. That's when her life started falling apart. She ran for almost a mile, trying to hunt him down but she lost him. He was just too fast. Her team was unable to catch up with her and had taken a few wrong turns. She had no back up but she didn't care. She continued to run. She ignored calls from Ryan, Espo, Gates and everyone who was trying to contact her. She had pulled herself back into that rabbit hole. She would stay in motels or cheap guestrooms at night and would resume her journey in the morning with fresh eyes and recharged energy. Many days passed with her following the same routine, trying to catch this guy because of whom her life had taken a wrong turn not once but twice. One day she saw him entering an old heritage building. He had a locker there and was keeping some files in it. It opened with a key. She could break a lock which opened with a key. He just slyly walked away, into the elevator and that's when Kate broke the lock and took the files out. They were the files that Mr Smith was using to blackmail the higher authority, just to keep her safe. When she got out of that building, she started walking towards the main road to hail a cab. But she was being followed. She turned around to face the man. It was him, Cole Maddox. _

_'Ughh... you again detective, I should have killed you, actually that was my plan all along... to make myself seen, to get you to follow me here without backup, what are you going to do now, Detective?' he asked, grinning shamelessly at her. _

_Kate remembered their first fight, she remembered the day she was shot, she remembered the night her mother was found dead in an alley. All these dark memories encouraged her to fight and kindled the fire of revenge in her. She took her gun out and was about to press the trigger when he threw a knife at her. She tilted, the knife missing her hand by inches, but she had dropped her gun and the files now in an attempt to dodge the knife. He walked casually towards her and was just a feet away when Kate bended and kicked his knee hard with her ankle, the intense force used hurt both of them. He fell to the ground, on his back. Kate was about to pick her gun to shoot him but he kicked it away with his foot, making her fall down as well in the process. He was now standing, with her lying there. He punched her face, giving her a cut on her lower lip. Kate quickly reached for the disposed glass bottle lying nearby and pierced his thigh with it. He groaned in pain. Kate thought she had knocked him down so she just dropped the bottle and started gathering the files. She was about to grab her gun when he attacked her from behind, using the discarded broken glass bottle as a weapon. He was aiming for her head but Kate shifted her position which caused him to injure her arm instead. Kate screamed in pain as the sharp edges of the broken glass bottle ripped her skin apart but she instantly used her elbow to smack him in the face. His nose started bleeding. She grappled him and gave him a kick between his thighs with all her strength which made him drop to the ground and yell loudly as pain took charge of his body. _

_Once he was surely knocked down, she hurried to the main road, hailed a cab, not to the precinct but to Castle._

She told Castle the whole story, not exaggerating at all like he would have done if he had kicked someone's ass. She hated to recall some parts as she could still feel the pain. The bruises and marks were a constant reminder of the worst day of her life. Castle comforted her and gave her support throughout, sometimes squeezing her hand to show that he was there, sometimes shifting closer and using his fingers to tuck a few strands of hair on her forehead, behind her ear to make her feel his presence and in the end, keeping his hand on her knee to show her that she was safe now. She left out a few details here and there. Even Castle knew that she was holding back something from him, but he decided not to ask her right now, maybe he would... after she got some rest. Once the inevitable conversation was over, he put a distance between them again.

'No wonder he's frustrated... you took the files and totally kicked the guy's ass' he stated, smiling and making the situation a little bearable, though his voice was a little shaky.

'You came directly to me after the fight so, what I want to know is that... where are the files?' he asked, looking at her, trying to figure out where she could have hidden them. He knew that the ending of her story was incomplete and it even missed a few parts in between. She blinked hard and took a long breath before saying something.

'Some place safe...' she said, looking at him longingly. Maybe it wasn't the truth but it neither was a lie. The files were safe. Castle wasn't satisfied with her answer but he had no capacity to argue.

It was already afternoon - 12:30 pm. A lot had happened in just 12-13 hours. They decided to skip lunch, get some sleep and wake up only for dinner now. They had 7 whole days to return those files and figure things out. Castle stood up, gave her a small smile and said 'Get some rest... we'll talk tomorrow'.

Though Castle didn't deny the fact that she had suffered too but he couldn't just act as if nothing had happened. He had given her comfort and support when she needed and he wanted her to do the same for him instead of pulling away from him and using him as a back up plan. In order for something to work, each person has to support the other; they have to lift each other up, it just cant be done one way. He wasn't sure whether she loved him or just loved the idea of being with him. There was a big difference between the two. He knew he couldn't always be her pillar of strength because one day eventually he would become avarice and would want more from her. He had to be circumspect this time before warming up to her and letting her in as his heart was already lying broken and shattered and another blow would just totally crush it. He was tired of trying.

Kate realized that the wall she had built around herself after her mother's death to keep out the sadness had kept the joy out of her life too. She wasn't having any fun until he came into her life. She just couldn't afford to lose him. She knew that now he needed time and it was a lot for him to take in therefore she just nodded and said 'Yeah... you too...'

Her eyes followed him all the way up to his bedroom until he closed the door. She could have been there with him in his room right now if she hadn't made a few wrong decisions back then. Though she had best interests in mind while making them, the end result just wasn't worth it. She knew that sooner or later they would have to confront each other and sort things out. The difference between Kate and Castle was that she did not consider that night a mistake. She considered that night something that was permanent, something that was perfect and indestructible, something that wasn't fading as days passed but was becoming more and more vivid and clear with time. She had reached a stage where she could finally say those three words back to him but she wasn't sure whether he wanted to hear them now.

It had been a hell of a month, actually a lot more had happened that month besides her encounter with Cole Maddox. She had left out another very important detail in her story. She hadn't told him that - _last night wasn't the first time she had visited him in those 30 days._

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___**A/N**: _This was a tough chapter to write, especially 'Kate's story' and the action part. Even their feelings towards the end. I hope I did justice to them? (Fingers crossed) - What do you think so far? X

**_Should I continue? Liked it? Any suggestions/Ideas? __Leave a review! Thank you for reading._**

**_Those who don't have an account here, you can share your views as well! Just click that gorgeous blue review button below. :)_**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – Interruption**

_I am just so sorry for the delay, I was out of town and my laptop was back here, alone without me. I'll try to minimize on the delays in the future. Stay with me and do tell me how you find this chapter._

**A/N: **Leave a review for me, will you? As my inbox's flooded, I don't check e-mails that often... so reviews are more appreciated. _You can PM me too though._

_- _I don't mean to threaten you all for reviews, I just ask whether I should continue because I'm sometimes not sure whether its worth continuing. I just ask for your opinion, suggestions, views which are quite encouraging.

- This chapter is dedicated to all of you who reviewed! Your reviews made my day :) Keep them coming!

- Pardon my grammatical errors please :)

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, Andrew W Marlowe and ABC are doing a damn good job with 'em.

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_The first Sunday of that unforgettable month filled Beckett with an irresistible urge to meet Castle. A week after that night, the loft once again attracted her towards it. She had to see him. He was the only reason she felt alive, he was her dry land. Making sure no one was following her, she reached his loft at 3:00 am. Thanks to her Detective training she was able to enter without a key. There was absolute silence except for the soft snores that were coming from his bedroom. She tip toed towards his room and saw him lying there, deep asleep. An almost empty bottle of whisky was standing on his bedside table, which had been his dry land these days. She walked slowly towards him, and kneeled down, close to him, watching him sleep. He looked so fragile, so sad that she couldn't stop a tear from trickling down her cheek. The area around his eyes was moist which was a sign of constant weeping. She gently moved her thumb along his cheek bone and bended forward a little to place a kiss on his forehead. She touched her lips after kissing him, as if to protect his taste from dissolving from her lips. That was a very pure gesture on her part which was born out of love and longing. She walked towards the door and before exiting; she looked once again at his sleeping form, cherishing it, remembering it as it was going to be the only memory that would keep her alive for another week. He was the reason she hadn't given up on her search, not her mother. _

Beckett was lying in the guestroom, fast asleep as she remembered her first meeting with Castle that month. She had made it a habit after that to at least visit him once a week, unable to inhibit herself from meeting him. Among the four visits she made that month, this was the first. The sweet memory woke her up with a smile. It was a memory, not a dream and now she was living with him. She could see him, feel him, touch him whenever she wanted; nothing could stop her now from doing those things except him. She had to make efforts now to make him ready. The hardest thing is to hold on when you know that the other has already decided to let go.

It was 5:00 am in the morning and they were well past dinner now. Kate pulled her hair back in a ponytail and slipped a pair of slippers on. She walked down the stairs, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Apparently Castle was still sleeping, giving her the opportunity to cook breakfast for them. She started cooking for him with enthusiasm; she had a pretty clear idea of what she was going to make.

Castle woke up to the smell and hissing sound of breakfast and the clatter of utensils that was coming from the kitchen. He knew that it was morning as the sun's rays had chased away the darkness of the night and was shining with all its glory. He lifted himself up from the oh-so-inviting bed and headed out of the room. He just stared at Kate for a minute adoringly. She looked so beautiful, moving around the kitchen, handling the stove as well as placing the breakfast on the empty plates. A few strands of hair were dangling on either side of her face, making her look pretty even in such a simple attire. The moment she saw him, he just looked down, denying the fact that he was staring. She gave him one of her dazzling smiles which his heart had secretly craved for and holding two cups of hot coffee, she came to him, handing him one.

'Morning Castle...' she said, smiling at him. He responded with a smile and a nod and uttered 'morning' raising the cup a little as if saying cheers.

'I made pancakes...' she said, pointing to the plates kept on the kitchen counter. Castle's expression darkened a little.

'Well, you at least finished something you had left unfinished that day...' he said, taking a sip, not looking at her anymore. The pain that was missing a while before was back. Kate was reminded of that morning when she had made the same breakfast but had left before she had a chance to complete it. She actually had done it intentionally today, as she just wanted a start, something... for making amends and a small thing like breakfast had proven to be a great place to start with it.

'I know Castle, and I wish to complete the other things too that were left incomplete...' she said, heading towards the kitchen counter, making sure he followed too. They sat on the high stools before the kitchen table and Castle took a bite of the pancake she had made with so much passion.

'You should've made the breakfast and then left... these would've been greatly appreciated that depressing morning...' he said. Kate didn't know how to react because he being the writer had successfully included both, a sweet compliment and a bitter truth in just one sentence.

'Castle I'm so...' she started but he just cut her off.

'Dont say it Kate... don't say it when you don't mean it...' he said. Castle just didn't want her to apologize as she had already apologized that night when she had showed up outside his loft, drenched, before they had a passionate love making session. What he thought was that if the 'sorry' of that night held no meaning for her then what good would this 'sorry' do. She had apologized that night but look where it had got them. She just said things but didn't mean them, so he didn't want her to say such things in the first place.

'I mean it Castle... that night was-' she started, but was again interrupted by him.

'Was a mistake... I know' Castle said casually, taking another bite and a sip.

'I know, lets just pretend that it didn't happen...' he said, once again throwing a fake smile towards her. Kate was just left speechless. She didn't know how to explain to him the importance of that night, how much it had an impact on her, how many times she had played it in her mind... again and again and again.

'No I don't want to pretend, it's one of the greatest memories I've had with you...no... I... I just cant!' Kate said, raising her voice a little and making it clear to him that she wasn't going to run away and hide this time. Castle sat there, stunned, looking at her with a confused expression.

'Kate... it was a mistake, look where it's gotten us' he said, vacating his hands and facing her.

'It's got us closer than ever...' she said, without hesitation. She wanted to be incisive and not wait anymore for the right time to say what she wanted.

'Yeah right, it's got us to a place where I'm trying hard to wash away the memories of the last few months...' he said, moving towards her, placing both his hands on her shoulders. She shivered under his touch.

'The truth is Kate... we suck at relationships...' he said with a straight face, but she wasn't going to give up.

'This last month... being away from you has made me realize how much I need you...what if I want more Rick?' she said, cupping his face, her eyes starting to water again. Damn tears.

'Its not about what you want... its about what you can have...' he said, placing his hands on hers and slowly removing them from his face. He started to head back to the kitchen counter where the pancakes and coffee were lying. As he turned his back on her, she just said-

'I feel I can still have you...'

'I did it to protect you...'

This caught his attention, he turned, staring at her for a second he said:

'Kate... it's always better to walk in the dark with a... friend than to walk in the light alone... you shouldn't have left...'

Castle had tried to forget all about her, erase that night and save the friendship but to stop loving someone like her was like trying to remember someone that didn't even exist. He didn't regret loving her, it was losing her that was hard for him to accept, but the most painful of it all was... letting her go.

His mind was telling him to stop and end this chapter named Kate Beckett but his heart was still in love and wasn't cooperating. Maybe they still had a chance?

He was about to say something else when they were interrupted by a knock on the door. He took the easy way out this time, heading towards the door. As he walked all he could think about was the little conversation that had just taken place. The knock had at least prevented him from saying something optimistic or accepting something that he would have regretted later because he had stopped being optimistic about life after she had closed the door on him. He rotated the knob wondering who would be the cock blocker this time but he was glad that the conversation had ended for now.

'Yo bro...' Esposito said, giving him a small smile.

'Esposito? What's up?' he asked, as Esposito stood there, his eyes searching for Kate now.

'Can I?' Esposito said, asking Castle to let him in.

'Oh! Yeah... sure!' Castle said, making way for him and closing the door when they were in.

'Hey Javi...' Kate said, moving towards him, giving him a side hug.

'So, where are the files?' Kate asked, her eyes on Esposito.

Esposito started walking towards the cabinet next to the front door, opening the middle drawer, he took out a yellow manila envelope which contained the files Kate was asking for.

'What the- Were they- Of course! but how did-' Castle tried to frame a proper sentence but all he could say properly was:

'The files were here all along, right under my nose! How did they get here? Please tell me it's a magic trick or I'll faint!'

'Sorry bro, I don't do magic' Esposito said, looking at Castle with amusement. Castle stared at Kate demanding some answers. The story she told was in no way complete. Kate just bit her lips and looked at him innocently with those shiny big hazel eyes.

'Ahh...Espo was my back up...' she said, looking at him pleasingly.

'And Ryan?' Castle asked, calming himself down.

'Lets just say that Espo here wasn't sure that he'll cooperate with us, besides, he would've told Gates...' Beckett said, looking at Espo to continue.

'Ryan has... a different way of thinking though I wouldn't say that he is wrong... actually we both care for Beckett's safety but we think of different methods to keep her safe...' Esposito said, matter-of-factly but he wasn't at all angry with Ryan. He just respected his opinion and methods.

'If keeping her safe involved her leaving and going after her sniper with just you, I think I'm with Ryan here...' Castle said, looking at Esposito seriously and then taking the envelope from him to see the files it supported.

'This little thing was here all along...' Castle said again in a surprised tone, looking at both of them to explain how the hell it got there.

* * *

**A/N: **Whew! This one was tough as I'm writing after so many days but I hope you liked it! Did you?

Suggestions, views, ideas, thoughts are very much appreciated and welcomed.

If you don't have an account, you can still review as a guest. So everyone, share your thoughts :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Still in love**

**A/N: **Leave a review for me, will you? As my inbox's flooded, I don't check e-mails that often... so reviews are more appreciated. _You can PM me too though._

_- So sorry for the delay. I had SO many assessments and projects._

- This chapter is dedicated to all of you who reviewed! Your reviews made my day :) Keep them coming!

- Pardon my grammatical errors please :)

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, Andrew W Marlowe and ABC are doing a damn good job with 'em.

* * *

Castle stood there with the files in his hand. They belonged to different people, important people who were involved in the conspiracy. These files were the only thing keeping Kate safe. Once Cole Maddox got a hold of these files, he would definitely kill her. Esposito had Beckett's back but he very well knew how big a risk they had taken, going after him alone. The thought of Esposito knowing all along where the files were had him vexed... how did he know?

'How the hell did these get here?' Castle asked, looking at Esposito for an explanation.

'I was with Beckett... a few feet away when she had the little fight with her sniper, I was about to interfere but then she gave him quite a kick which had me controlling a scream... Beckett didn't pick the files up at all actually, she just hailed a cab to your place which was a sign for me to take care of the files lying there. I ran and picked the files up before that bastard was on his feet... I needed to find a place to hide them, Maddox had seen me, the only place I could think of was yours... the address Beckett gave that cab driver was ringing in my ears but with what's going on between you two I didn't think it was a good idea...I was thinking of Beckett's dad and I took a cab there but then you called, telling me she was admitted...I rushed to the hospital instead...' Esposito took a deep breath and continued.

'I needed a place that was safe, that was closer to her... which was easy to access when time came, with all the officers outside your building in disguise right now, with Gates telling you to keep Beckett in the loft, I sneaked out of the hospital with the yellow manila envelope still hidden inside my coat...I went straight to your place, I was easily allowed, being a detective... that's it, that's how they got here!' Esposito finished, looking at the floor, slowly raising his gaze to meet Castle's.

Castle was silent for a minute, processing it all in his head. They shouldn't have done it; this was no way to get at Kate's sniper.

'Why didn't you arrest him there?' he asked Esposito.

'He had a gun gripped in his hand and it seemed a better option at the time to wait for another chance than to get killed with the files' Esposito simply said, not holding anything back.

Castle was trying to understand but the fight Kate had with the sniper was now haunting his thoughts. She always knew how to rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Whatever her reasons were to leave him that morning, she at least came back to him. But if the sniper had for instance stabbed her where he had aimed for, what would he have done? His mind was having flashes of Kate Beckett, lying on a sandy ground with a knife pierced through her heart, blade shining in the sun, standing perpendicular to her breathless body. Kate Beckett's funeral knell echoing throughout the cemetery, slowly killing him from the inside, taking control of his body. He walked slowly towards Kate, standing there with her shining hazel eyes, observing him. He lifted his hand a little, fingers touching her chin gently.

'What would've I done if the near miss wasn't a miss?' he asked her, forgetting all about that moring at that very moment. It was just an honest question which showed his vulnerable side to her. He still cared, he still loved her. She could see the concern oozing out of every limb in his body. She needed to comfort him. She moved her hand through his silky hair, cupping his face like she had done earlier except this time, he didn't remove her hands. He just closed his eyes, taking her warmth in.

'I'm not going anywhere... I'll never leave okay? I'm safe, you're safe and that's only what matters to me...' she said, looking into his now open eyes. Trying to show him that she just needs one more chance to prove how much she loves him. She slowly moved her hands to his chest, making circular patterns there, stabilizing his heart rate.

'Be safe Kate, I need you to be... ' he said, realizing how helpless he would have been if someone had actually confirmed that she was dead a month ago. Its right, she had been dead to him a while back but actually the relationship had been dead for him, not her literally.

'We're safe...' she whispers, holding his hands now, squeezing them softly.

'We're fine...' she says again, giving him a smile. They were just staring into each other's eyes like old times when suddenly the sound of someone clearing their throat made them realize that Esposito was still in the room. He had been looking at the floor, at the cabinet, towards the kitchen, at the door... anywhere but them.

'Ugh, I...' he started. Thankfully Castle and Kate had parted and were now looking at him, a little embarrassed.

'I even found this note when I came in...' he said, giving Beckett the small piece of paper. She saw what was written, her eyes widened and she immediately handed it over to Castle.

'_Mr Castle, I hope you haven't involved anyone else. This is just a reminder to tell you that you have 5 days left now. The clock's ticking. I hope Detective Beckett here understands the importance of time. How would you like to die Mr Castle? By a stake, knife, gun or a blast?'_

Castle stood there, staring at the paper for a few more minutes.

'Whoaa... your sniper has a gross sense of humour' Castle said after a while.

He knew that he couldn't involve Esposito in this. They had to follow the rules.

'I'm already involved... ' Esposito said, as though reading his thoughts. Kate was with Esposito here. She knew that they would need him.

'Okay...' Castle said, nodding in agreement.

'He'll kill us when he gets the files as it is...' Castle said, looking at them. They needed a plan. They had 5 days but still they had to figure out a way to keep the files as well as get Cole Maddox without anyone getting hurt.

'You're in only if we include Ryan... we need him too!' Castle said, standing his point.

'No way!' Esposito protested but Kate was quiet. She knew that this wasn't a piece of cake. It was bigger than all of them.

'I'll talk to him okay? I'll explain it to him...' Castle continued, ignoring the death stare Esposito was giving him. Esposito was now staring at Beckett, a look that said *what do you have to say?*.

'Castle's right Espo... we need him' Kate said, trying to make him understand.

'Try your luck bro' Esposito said, handing Castle the phone lying nearby.

**-CB –CB –CB –CB –CB**

After ten minutes of conversing with Ryan, Castle came out of his room, keeping the phone in his pocket.

'Well... Ryan agreed! He wants in!' Castle said.

'What? That's it? I'm sure there's more to it writer boy! Don't hide anything okay?' Esposito said, in a brazen tone.

'There's nothing to hide! He'll come tomorrow and all of us will figure it out together -kay?' Castle said, giving them an innocent smile.

'Castle you sure there isn't-?' Kate started but Castle just said 'I'm doing what's the best for you, I know how risky this is!'

Kate nodded in return. There isn't anything to worry about.

'Espo... we'll see you tomorrow, after lunch?' Kate said, giving him a positive smile. Esposito just nodded and said 'take care you two...' before closing the loft door, though he was also muttering his disagreement for the new involvement taking place. Now they two were alone again. Kate was looking at Castle now, staring at him, putting all her mind as if he was a puzzle. He looked a little disturbed and also guilty, unsure? but for what? Even Castle had a totally different side to him which was still a mystery to her. She suddenly remembered his words to her in LA.

'You're a mystery I'm never gonna solve...' Kate said, seating herself down on the couch, beside him. Castle just smiled.

'You remember that?'

'Of course I do! I opened the door that night but you closed yours...' she continued.

'That's ironic!' Castle said, tilting a little, facing her. He couldn't control himself from commenting about the irony here. He was still aching though the pain was less. He even had a few other things going on in his mind, decisions he wasn't sure of... decisions about her safety.

'Many missed opportunities Rick' she said, looking at him, regret on her face. He could see that she was sorry, apologies were clearly visible on her face.

'I'll do what I can to keep you safe Kate, I can't take risks...' he said, trying to make her understand. She just looked so sad.

'I know...' she replied, keeping her hand on his knee. He simply loves the feeling he gets when she touches him. Maybe they have a chance. Behind the cloud of anger that has blocked his mind, he could see a bright light. After all, thats what great love stories are made of right? Beating the odds. He covers her hand resting on his knee with his. He holds her hand, a sign that clearly shows that he isn't going to let go any more, he is still holding on to her... the grip is tightening day by day. He'll be always there for her... 'Always'

Kate knows that scars take time to fade, clouds of anger take time to scatter, life is bound to have many bumps, ups and downs before levelling and perfectly pacing forward instead of backward. He is coming to terms with the bitter fact that she left but at the same time he is also realizing and remembering all the sweet memories that they've had. She's had two encounters with her sniper without Castle but with her one-and-done standing with her, she can win this third fight, maybe he's her lucky charm.

They both know that they're more than friends now. Though they maybe perfectly happy being friends for now, they may actually love it right now but... they know that eventually they'll have this incredible urge to kiss each other, this urge will not go away… and also, this feeling will keep on running in their mind that_ they're perfect together_ as the truth cant be hidden for long behind the cover of friendship.

They were just sitting there, lost is thoughts, holding hands. They didn't care about lunch as they were well past that now, still it wouldn't hurt to call for a pizza though it was an odd time for it. Castle gave Kate the cordless to place an order, telling her what he wanted. While Kate was ordering, Castle sneaked inside his bed room to make a call. _Tring-Tring._

'Hello, one more thing, I don't want Esposito and Kate to know about the precautions we're taking until it's absolutely necessary... when we make our move in the alley, I don't want you to send the back up until the situation calls for it...' Castle said, speaking softly.

'We got that Mr Castle, though we've had many misunderstanding these past few months which included you accusing me for losing her, I'm glad you made the right decision this time. Don't worry, we'll not interfere if you all are able to manage it. You and Ryan keep me posted on the plan...' with that Castle kept the phone down. He couldn't afford to lose her again. In no way he was going to let Esposito's and Kate's stubbornness get them killed. He agreed with Ryan, as they had a common method to get through this and keep her safe.

_It was Gates on the other line... he had involved her as well and she was in too, willingly. He just couldn't afford to lose Kate again, after all... he's lost without her._

* * *

**_Suggestions, views, ideas, thoughts are very much appreciated and welcomed. I hope the pace is fine? Liking it?_**

**_If you don't have an account, you can still review as a guest. So everyone, share your thoughts :)_**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - He's Coming Back**

**A/N: **I'll be updating twice a week at least from now, maybe more if I get time. Leave me a review, even a word would do as they are always quite encouraging. Thanks for all the favorites and alerts. It means a lot.

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, Andrew W Marlowe and ABC are doing a damn good job with 'em.

* * *

They had been watching TV, though exchanging awkward side glances the whole time but they had managed to sit together for two whole hours after they were finished with the pizza. Both were abstemious and didn't believe in over eating as this week was going to test both of them physically as well as mentally. They sat on the two ends of the couch but at least it was the same one. Slowly Kate dozed off on the couch itself, the sound of the TV acting as more of a lullaby. She didn't want to be alone and being near him allowed her body to rest instantly. She just wanted to curl up to his side and use him as a pillow while she slept. She remembered the warmth of his body from that night, the smell of him, and the soothing rhythm of his heart beat, how his chest moved up and down with every inhale and exhale... he smelt of home. Home is not a place but a person, someone whom you come back to and for her it was now him.

Castle watched her as she slept. She looked so peaceful. Her gorgeous eyes were closed which allowed him to focus on her other features, not only her eyes. She was perfect, at that very moment she looked like an absolute angel. He stood up and adjusted her hanging feet on the couch, removing her slippers. He came back after a few minutes with a blanket and draped it over her, covering her legs and tucking it under her chin. Before walking away, he looked once again at her sleeping form, thinking she would wake up in the night and lead herself to her room.

As Castle lay on his bed, he glanced at his phone, thinking whether it was the right decision to involve Gates and Ryan. He remembered his conversation with Gates when she had disappeared.

'_How could you be so fatuous to send her after him? By all means Sir, I respected you, but I guess not anymore! If something happens to her... if she gets sh- hell no! Find her... ALIVE! I want her breathing... how can she leave me? It's all because of you!'_

He could still hear his accusing voice. He could still hear Gate's apologetic tone.

'_Mr Castle, we had no idea that we'll lose her... its unpredictable with her! She's one of the best and I just need you to calm down... we're trying, trying to find her! I had no idea that matters would become...'_

'_STOP! I guess it's done! I'm... I can't', he had cut the call before Gates could complete what she was saying._

He could still hear the ringing of his phone, Ryan's, Esposito's, the calls he had dodged, the crashing sound of his new phone as he smashed it against the wall in frustration.

He forced his mind to stop thinking, he forced his restless body to cooperate, he forced his eyelids to close shut, he forced his heart to stop racing but it was all in vain, he was unable to sleep. After a few hours he decided to check up on her, the reason of his restlessness.

He walked out of his bedroom into the living room where she was still lying asleep. He looked at her for a moment and decided to wake her up and take her to the guestroom. That couch would surely give her back ache in the morning if she slept there all night.

'Kate...'

Castle bended and softly whispered to her. Beckett was fast asleep on the couch. It was almost midnight.

'Kate...' he whispered once again. She opened one eye, the other one still flooded with sleep. She looked so adorably innocent.

'Let's get you to bed, come one...' Castle said, helping her up the couch. He put his one arm around her, taking her upstairs to the guest room, her room. She pressed herself closer to him as he helped her up the stairs and to the bed, but instead of climbing onto that cosy bed, she hugged him. Both her hands clasped around his neck and her head resting on his warm chest. He was hesitant at first, but he decided to live in the moment. His hands slowly and gently moved from her shoulders, down her sides and wound around her waist. He pulled her close, removing the space between them. He just held her.

'Rick...' She moaned in desperation first.

'Castle...' she moaned again but her voice broke. She was holding back tears. Her voice was shaky.

'I'm so sorry...'

'I didn't think, I just ran, I don't deserve you, I distanced myself, I thought it was the right thing to do but, please... I-' she let it all out between tears, between sniffs.

'Shh...'

Castle moved his hand soothingly on her back, comforting her. She took deep breaths calming herself down. After a few minutes she was quiet, breathing normally. She had calmed down.

'Feel better?' he asked and he could feel her nodding against his chest.

'We'll get through it... with time...' he said, his arms still around her, trying to shield her from all the darkness that had covered their lives.

'Time, we don't have enough...' she said in a feeble voice. He just helped her lie down and tucked her in. He looked into those shiny eyes of hers, seeing the fear of rejection but also hope. He didn't want the past to enervate their relationship.

'We'll make time then...' he said and bended down to place a kiss on her forehead. She would definitely cherish the moist imprint made by his lips as it was the first time his lips had touched any part of her body after that morning. There certainly was hope left.

'Sweet dreams Kate...' he softly said, giving her a smile. She smiled back. She wanted him to stay, she decided to ask him... but he was gone.

She wanted to say so many things to him, but emotions always took control of her when he was there. The occasion was never auspicious.

She closed her eyes and remembered...

_Her second visit had been much like the first, with him in another world, dreaming. But this time he was sleeping on his desk, the laptop lying nearby. She came near him. He had been working on frozen heat, his next novel. His hands were lying crossed on the desk and his head rested over them. His mouth was half open and she could hear soft snores. It was shocking how tough this man could be. The cute and facetious appearance was just a cover. He was the one who stood by her and helped her through her shooting. He had still managed to crack jokes and make her smile even after she had said indirectly that she needed time. He waited for four years. She just knew one thing for sure; she was unconditionally in love with a nine year old on a sugar rush. Three words were out of her mouth even before she knew it._

'_I love you...' she softly whispered._

'_hold on to that...' she sighed and left the loft to find her sniper, get closure and come back to him, for forever._

**-CB –CB –CB –CB –CB **

The next morning had gone by fast with Castle and Beckett finishing brunch and not talking about the previous night as usual. Castle was also for about forty five minutes on the phone with his daughter, explaining things to her and asking about her schedule. Very soon Esposito and Ryan arrived, bringing with them a master plan.

'We all should be armed you know...' Castle said, looking at the three of them. The idea of holding a gun elated him.

'Yes we'll be armed, but let's go over the plan again' Beckett said.

'Shall I?' Ryan asked and all of them nodded in agreement.

'Wait- Kevin, can I count on you to have our back?' Esposito asked, looking at him seriously.

'Yes! I'll do what's safe for all of us!' he answered, looking at Esposito and then at Castle. Castle was the only one who knew what he actually meant.

'Okay bro... Continue then!' Esposito said, softening his expression a little.

'Yeah, so... the alley, according to Beckett here, it's the one where... her mother was...' he stammered.

'You can say it Ryan' Kate said, raising an eyebrow.

'Right! This alley, we have to give him the files but we'll be giving out fake ones. He doesn't know about Javi and my involvement so Beckett will be going in with Castle here, I will be just a few blocks away, and I'll barge in if something goes out of plan, you two will be wearing a wire... Esposito will be at a distant building which has quite a clear view of the entire alley, he'll be our very own sniper and will take him down if arresting him isn't possible...' he finished.

'He'll be having more men I'm sure, I don't think it'll be that easy!' Casle said after a while. This was still risky.

'Yes it's risky, I think Castle you shouldn't come with me, you should accompany Ryan or even Espo...' Kate said. She was worried.

'No way, I'm not gonna let you out of my sight!' he simply stated. He wasn't going to listen to anyone. They've had this conversation about four-five times since morning but he hadn't budged from his decision. Kate sighed in defeat.

'We'll put the plan in action day after, tomorrow we'll get ourselves all the necessary supplies but tonight we feast...' Castle said excitedly.

'Old Haunt? I know the owner...' Kate said, smiling at him. She didn't know how everything was going to eventually go down. She just knew that she wanted to enjoy and spend all the time she could get, with him.

'And who's that?' Castle asked, settling his shirt collar and running a hand through his silky hair. Kate just nodded and gave him an eye roll. Things were finally looking a little normal.

'Yeah, It's that writer, what's his name again?' Ryan asked, looking at Esposito.

'Something to do with high walls and towers...' Esposito said, scratching his head.

'Ha-ha, Very funny!' Castle said, sarcastically, though amused. Ryan, Esposito and Kate just tried to control their laughter, as he was staring hard at them, trying to look all serious.

'Anyways... lets go!' Castle said, standing up from the chair and grabbing his coat.

'Who wants to do shots?' he shouted in excitement.

'Drinks on me!' he said, giving Ryan and Esposito high fives. The old Castle was slowly coming back. Time really does heal all wounds. Kate just stood there staring at him adoringly, she just wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She wanted to tell him everything and start fresh with no dangers and no lies. With no reason and no desire to leave him again.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 - Three Little Words**

**A/N: **I'll be updating twice a week at least from now, maybe more if I get time. Leave me a review, even a word would do as they are always quite encouraging. Thanks for all the favorites and alerts. It means a lot.

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, Andrew W Marlowe and ABC are doing a damn good job with 'em.

* * *

It was 1:00 am in the morning and Castle was struggling with a bunch of keys, trying to get his front door to open. At last he was able to slip it in and rotate. The door clicked open and Castle stepped inside, his one hand holding his coat and the other around Beckett's waist. Apparently it had been an interesting evening which had led to a drinking game between Beckett and Esposito. Castle knew that she wasn't going to give up until she had beaten Esposito's pants off. Kate was going to have some serious headache but right now, she was just looking dazed and denying the fact that she was drunk.

'Kate... you had too much, let me get you some-' he said as he gently seated her on the couch, but was cut off.

'Nope Ricky, I'm fine!' she simply said in an energetic tone. She was trying to deny it, which was always her first instinct with everything.

'You're drunk' he said clearly.

'Prove it' she simply said, raising an eyebrow flirtingly at him.

'You called me ruggedly handsome before! You let **me** drive and you just called me Ricky' he said, looking at her with those beautiful blue eyes of his.

'Do you know you have gorgeous eyes?' she asked seriously, but soon her lips curved into a smile. His mouth opened in shock by what she'd just said though he was gloating. He tried to control himself.

'You are so drunk...' Castle said, looking at her amusingly.

'I'm not drunk, I'm just feeling beautiful...' she said, immediately standing up and resting both her hands on his shoulders. She loved to see him gasp as she touched him. Her lips were easily able to reach his ear lobe as she was still in her heels. She glided her moist lips along his cheek bone and bumped her nose with his, making him catch his breath.

'You- ughh, you want anything? Perhaps water?' he asked, trying to tilt his head back a little. He wouldn't be able to resist her if her lips came any closer to his. He could feel her warm breaths against his skin. The smell of her was making him go wild.

'I told you Rick... I just want you' she whispered, framing his face with her hands, her gaze slowly moving from his eyes to his deliciously pink lips. Her lips had already parted but his hand came between their bodies, not letting her lips come any closer to his.

'No it's not right, this... we need time to figure things out, I'm not sure about my feelings, I'm...' he started, raising his tone a little. He looked at her sullen face which was a while back filled with love and desperation.

'Do you love me Rick? Did you ever love me?' she asked with a straight face. This was getting serious and he just didn't want her to say something that she would regret later. He didn't want himself to do something that would prove deleterious to this relationship that they shared now.

'Let's take you to bed Kate... come on, we'll talk with a fresh mind...' he said, putting an arm around her, all ready to take her upstairs.

'No, we won't talk! I know we won't! Answer me first Castle!' she asked him demandingly. She wasn't going to let this go and Castle thought that if she wanted answers, he wasn't going to hold back anything.

'I did Kate! I loved you...but I thought you-' he continued, looking at her with tear filled eyes, but he was interrupted.

'Loved? You mean you don't love me... you're not in love... because I...' she tried to speak but tears trickled down her cheek in incessant stream washing away the words from her mouth. She felt Castle's hand on her wrist, he squeezed her hand but she just jerked her wrist, shaking his hand off of hers.

'Kate, it's not what I meant, let me finish, I still-' he started but was again interrupted by her.

'Love can't be past tense! If you love someone... it's either you always will or you never really did! You... you never did, I'm such a fool' she said, moving to the couch and dropping down in the bitter realization. Tears were making wet paths on her cheeks and she didn't care to wipe them.

'What on earth made you think that I don't?' Castle said, moving towards the couch and kneeling down, just before her.

'Katherine Beckett, I annoy you to see your adorable pout, I bring you coffee to see that dazzling smile, I shadow you to know you... whole of you' he said, putting both his hands on her knee. He continued, looking into her eyes again-

'I waited for you because I knew deep down that you would come back to me, I flirt with you to retain that spark that's there between us but I don't want to hold on to you this tight because I'm afraid... afraid I won't be able to let go...' he said, letting it all out. He lifted her drooping head, by raising her chin. He cupped her face and wiped the newly emerging tears with his thumb.

'Look at me Kate, with you, I'm a one and done type too but without you, I'm more the merrier type of guy...' he said, smiling at her. This really did make her smile and that smile was enough to make him sure of his feelings for her.

'Four years Kate... I guess I've loved you for four years and I'm still in love with you! It's growing with every passing day and I can just feel my heart getting heavier...' he was silenced by her lips on his. Their eyes closed shut as they kissed each other passionately. He nibbled on her upper lip while she worked on his lower. They were just kissing each other rigorously, trying to make up for the month, all at once. Slowly their lips parted and they explored each other's mouth, tasting each other, making each other moan. They were exhibiting their emotions, fears, craving, all at once by just a long kiss. Soon they parted gasping for breath and he wanted her to say those three little words he had been dying to hear since her shooting.

Kate was looking in those blue eyes of his, thinking of telling him face to face about how she feels.

'I..' she started, but the alcohol inside her was making her all sick suddenly. Maybe she really had too much to drink. She was feeling nauseous and was ready to throw up any moment. She tried again to say those words anyway.

'I..' but she couldn't. Though she was able to say three words before rushing to the bathroom but they weren't what Castle was waiting for.

'I feel sick'

Castle was a little disappointed but was smirking. He rushed after her to the bathroom, helping her in such rough times.

**-CB –CB –CB –CB –CB **

After throwing up, Kate actually felt light and better. Not bothering to climb the stairs, she and Castle and slipped into his bed only. It was morning and she could feel someone staring at her. She tried to open her eyes but the sun's glare was too much for her dilated eyes to handle. Rubbing her eyes a little, she tried to open them again, and she succeeded. The first thing to meet her eyes was him. His ruffled hair and dreamy eyes made her day. She realized at that very moment that she wanted this; she wanted to have every morning from now with him on her side. His sultry voice was all she wanted to hear now.

'Good morning Kate...' he said, giving her a peck on her lips. Short but enough to make her heart flutter.

'Morning Rick...' she said in one of the sweetest voice which earned her another peck on the lip. She could get used to this.

'So, how did you sleep?' he asked, looking at her beautiful face, scrutinizing even the slightest change in expression.

'Very well... very' she said, taking his hand and caressing it. But soon, it struck her; she wasn't totally honest with him. In order for this relationship to work, she had to tell him everything. Noticing the sudden change in her expression, Castle asked-

'You okay? Let me guess... you're not a cuddler, or wait, maybe you don't like the staring...' he tried to think of many ridiculous but adorable reasons which made it even more difficult for her to tell him the real one.

'No, I actually love cuddling and about the staring, I kinda find it creepily cute... it's something I want you to know...' she continued, tightening her grip on his hand. He gave it a slight squeeze, reassuring her that he's willing to listen.

'I saw you about four times last month...' she blurted out and waited for his reaction. But he was just looking at her expressionlessly. Coming out of a trance state, he asked her once again.

'I'm sorry... what?'

'I- uhh, I just wanted to see you Castle and you were the only reason... keeping me alive. After losing him, I lost track of who I was and you were my anchor, you were my dry land, whatever you may call it' she said, but she stopped because of the sudden loss of contact between their hands. He had pulled away. He needed time to process everything. He got up from the bed; her eyes followed him all the way up to his 'writing room'. He plugged out the laptop from charging and slowly walked towards her, sitting on her bed side. He opened a file and handed the laptop to her.

'That's how I was Kate, that's how you made me feel...' he said. Kate glanced at the email he had written but had not sent. She could actually hear his voice narrating those words aloud. She was just so sorry for all this but apologies weren't going to make things fine this time. After she was finished with the reading, she just closed the flap, unable to look at the screen again.

'I swear to God Castle, I will never leave you, I don't care about getting any closure anymore, it's like the distance has made me even clearer as to what my priorities are, and you are top on the list! I promise, I'll drop it, give the files to him if you want, I don't care' she said. She wasn't crying, she looked focused and determined and this surprised him. Castle was taken aback.

'When did you visit?' he asked, though his anger was melting slowly. He was a softie from inside.

'Twice when you were asleep... once when you were at your regular coffee shop, and once when you left your building, visiting my mother's grave? What was that for?' she asked. Somehow she couldn't figure out the reason for him visiting her mother's grave. He tilted towards her, looking at her with big shining eyes.

'I went to the grave to ask for forgiveness...' he continued.

'I wasn't able to stop you; I could've tried harder to find you... I needed to visit the place where it all started Kate... I hadn't visited the cemetery after the day you'd been shot, I decided that it was a place where I needed to be before I let go of you, whole of you... of all the dark memories which still haunted me, they had the same impact on me... just like you, I went to mourn, I went to let go off your mother's case, let go of your shooting, let go of you...' he softly said.

'Awh Castle, it was never your fault... it was entirely mine, first and last time, I'm so sorry... my mother would've loved you, actually she would've shouted at me for leaving you...' Kate said, slowly taking his hand again. He didn't pull away.

'You wouldn't have left if she was here...' he said, giving out a smile.

'Fair enough...' Kate said, and she just couldn't stop the smile that was creeping on her face now. She was looking at their intertwined hands when Castle broke the silence.

'And I don't want you to give up on that bastard when we are so close... I just want you to accept the fact that you have someone here willing to stand with you, and it's absolutely his choice...'

'Noted...' Kate said, bringing his hand to her lips, planting a kiss on the back of his hand. She just opened the flap of the laptop again and opened his account.

'What are you doing?' he asked, looking at the screen. He had no idea what she was up to now.

'Also one more thing, you need to stop with these spontaneous...OH!' he ended his sentence when he saw her delete that email. That's how it should be in life; one should only keep the sweet memories and forget all about the bitter ones. Complications and obstacles are a part of living but overcoming those obstacles is actually the art of living.

'Now before something interrupts me, I'm going to say it... Richard Castle I'm in...' she started but was now interrupted by his vibrating and beeping phone. Kate just looked at it with distaste and so did Castle.

'This one is going to get crushed, stomped and smashed by me...remember that!' Kate said, with tightly clenched teeth.

Castle couldn't control his laughter this time. Sliding his finger on the touch screen he uttered – 'Castle'

'It's Ryan... I just want to tell you that tomorrow's the day, I've got all we need, we'll put the plan to action in the evening, that'll not attract attention... and I've informed Gates. So umm, you and Kate meet me in the black van which will be parked a few blocks away, Espo will take his position by then, and don't fiddle with the wire Castle. Got it?'

'Got it... and Ryan the...' he looked at Beckett who was staring at him. Ryan got the hint.

'Don't worry, she won't make a move until you give the signal, she'll be monitoring you two with me so, all the best! Meet me tomorrow at 6, okay?'

'Kay!'

'Don't fiddle!'

'RYAN!'

With that Ryan kept the phone down. He always got paranoid and both Kate and Castle knew that. Castle just wished for things to go smoothly tomorrow.

'So tomorrow 6 pm, we have to meet Ryan who'll be a few blocks away in a black van...' Castle updated Beckett, leaving out the part about Gates.

'Hmm...' was all she was able to say as she curled up to him and tugged her face against his chest. Castle moved his hands through her hair thinking how things were going to play out tomorrow. Both knew that whenever things looked good, something always came up to break them apart but this fight they were going to fight together.

**-CB –CB –CB –CB –CB **

Castle and Beckett were again and again playing in their head how things were going to go down tomorrow. The whole day went by with them eating, moving to and fro in the house, comforting each other but nothing seemed to work. When it was night, they decided to sleep in the same room as none wanted to face the loneliness. Kate was sleeping with her back brushing Castle's chest. His face was resting against her neck and she could feel his warm breath massaging her skin. His hands were encircled around her waist. He was sleeping quietly. Kate wasn't able to sleep without saying those three words to him. She tried to move a little, hoping he would wake up but she stopped. She didn't want him to think she was uncomfortable with the cuddling. She called out his name at last.

'Castle...'

'Mmm?' was all he was able to say. He was just so comfortable. Thank god he wasn't deep asleep.

'I need to tell you something...' she softly spoke.

'Please don't tell me now that you're FBI or wait... you're a double agent?' he said in sleep. Kate just smiled. He was such a kid.

'It's actually what I feel...' she let it out.

'I can untangle myself if you're feeling hot or maybe raise the temperature a little if it's getting cold...' he blurted out again with his eyes still closed.

'Listen Castle!' that definitely got his attention.

'Okay, what now?' he asked, still not opening his eyes but full attention on her.

'I feel free, the wall's down, you're here and all songs make sense' she said happily. Castle knew where this was going. He didn't interrupt though his eyeballs moved and eyelashes lifted a little.

'Castle, Rick... I love you...' with that she waited for him to say something but she got her answer as he pulled her closer to his chest and tucked his head into the crook of her neck. He placed a kiss on the L of her neck and just whispered.

'Always...'

Now she could sleep peacefully, with the man she loved sleeping near her.

* * *

**Phew! This one was tough. Hope you liked it. Just tell me, even a line or a word will make my day. :) Writer, reader or Guest, your thoughts matter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 - The Last Stand**

**A/N: **There will be one more chapter after this, an epilogue or something. Anyway, this one took me a lot of time to think and write so please, readers, take out just a minute to review if not more :)

- Pardon my grammatical errors.

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me, I'm just a fan, playing with them :)

* * *

They drove together in silence. It was dusk. The lights of the never sleeping city were blinding today instead of being cheerful or elating. The sky was dark and cloudless. Thousands of stars were peeping at them from above, either warning them or giving them encouragement. They pulled up a few metres away from the black van. It was either the writer in Castle because that van looked like a death chariot to him in the faint twilight. They moved out of the car and started walking towards the vehicle parked in complete isolation. The door slid open, revealing a concerned detective waving at them.

'Beckett, Castle...ready?' he asked, looking at them in paranoia.

'Yes we are...' Kate replied while Castle just gulped and nodded.

'Let's not waste any time...' Ryan softly said. He gestured them to get in and they did. He fitted them with wire, starting with Beckett and slowly moving to Castle.

'I'll be able to hear you, if something goes wrong, just say the word and I'll be there... but I'll take at least five minutes to get there... remember that okay?' he looked straight at Castle, explaining the intensity of the situation.

'Got it' Castle nodded giving a thumbs up.

'Esposito's taken his position. He's in the building under construction, overlooking the alley...' Ryan explained to them. Both listened carefully to him without questions or argument.

'Castle, I need you to signal me and we'll be there in five...' Ryan started but was interrupted by Beckett.

'We?' She asked, as she adjusted the wire, completely concealing it.

'I uh-' Ryan didn't know what to say.

'Give the gun already' Castle asked him, changing the topic. Ryan handed him the gun. Castle took it carefully from him. The ivory grips of the .45 ACP felt cold against his hand. He pulled the slide back to ensure a round was chambered.

'You thought I'd give you an unloaded gun Castle?' Ryan asked him, as he checked the cartridge for Beckett's gun.

'Nope... just wanted to do that' Castle replied, smiling goofly at him. Ryan raised an eyebrow and handed Beckett her own gun. Castle and Beckett were wearing a vest underneath their shirt, not visible to the naked eye. They were wired and they both were now wearing a gun, Beckett's safely placed in a gun holster behind her leather jacket while Castle's safely tucked underneath his coat. Castle was holding a folder that contained fake documents and papers.

'All the best... kill him if not arrest' Ryan said to Beckett while he gave Castle a pat on his back. They both smiled at him though the fear was clearly visible on their faces. They at once left the van and started heading towards the alley where it all had started. The journey all the way to the alley took them seven to ten minutes. When they were almost making the turn for it, Beckett slowed down a little and came to a complete stop just before the turn.

Beckett didn't even want to put a foot into that alley again, where her mother had been found stabbed. All the rusty and painful images of her mother's lifeless body started flashing in front of her eyes. The memories of her father clinging on to false hope that she would one day return and refusing to believe the weightiest proof of life started to haunt her. The images of her father drowning in a pool full of alcohol and her mother found bathed in blood started to make her dizzy. Castle saw the vivid change in her expression. How it turned from determination to devastation. He intertwined their hands and squeezed it hard, making the sudden pressure jerk her back into the reality, into the present.

'Let's get him Kate...' he said with confidence, his brazen and clear voice making her look at him. She saw the fire of sacrifice inside him. He saw the fire of revenge inside her, and they together took the turn into the alley, cajoling all the energy stored inside them for the final stand.

It was completely dark, the area being dimly lit by the moonlight and a compact florescent bulb hanging on the left corner, beside a door... nothing else. One could only hear the sound of periodic honking as a car passed by, the sound of their breaths and the slight scuffing of their sneakers though the silence seemed to return and consume all these feeble noises.

They stopped moving forward when they saw a figure emerging from the only door present there. The squeaking of the door clearly showed that it wasn't used much. Soon a man, well built, stepped forward. It was him. Cole Maddox. Castle could feel the air thinning around them just by his mere presence. He definitely suited the description he so often used for a villain in one of his books. Kate's senses heightened and her body tensed, all ready to pounce at the man if situation called for it. Her hand went to the gun holster, just in case.

'Detective, Mr Castle... you at last came... I was thinking of dropping another reminder. I think it was very sweet of me to give you a day or two break...' he said in a cold voice. He had been monitoring the alley... making someone's death-spot his home. His gaze was stuck on the folder that was tightly gripped in Castle's hand. He casually moved forward, stretching his right hand towards Castle.

'You can give it to me now...' he said and Castle just waited for Kate's signal. Kate nodded and as soon as the folder was in Maddox's hand, she grabbed her gun from the holster and pointed it at him, not letting him open the folder and unveil the truth.

'Turn around, hands behind your head!' Beckett shouted, but he casually pulled out his mobile phone and grinned wickedly.

'Can I make a last call?' he asked, but made a call anyway.

'Yes, is he there...'

'Good job, just kill him if you see any one within a ten feet radius... if you see me calling after this, don't pick, just kill him anyway. Blow the place up if things get nasty...' he loudly said, giving Castle and Beckett the warning indirectly. He slipped the phone into his coat pocket when he was done.

'Apparently you're not the only one with a partner...' Maddox hissed, smiling as he saw absolute shock and worry on both his opponent's faces.

'Your sniper is a little tied up, though he went down with a fight, injured my man...' he updated them. _God! Esposito._

'You son of a... ' Kate started but was cut off by him.

'You fooled me Detective!' he yelled and threw the folder to the ground in disgust. He took out an old revolver and pointed it at Beckett, his finger vibrating on the trigger in hatred.

'Both of you! Put your guns down! Or I'll make a call and my man there will put a bullet through his skull!' he shouted in frustration. Castle and Beckett both put their guns on the ground while he kicked it far away from them.

He fired four bullets into the sky in frustration. Castle and Kate both knew that a revolver only had six chambers, with four bullets wasted, only two were left.

'You played me... I must say, well done! Let's play a real game now... shall we...' he said in a sarcastic but playful manner.

'I have two bullets, but three of us... I'll rotate the cylinder and let's see whose lucky!' he said, immediately rotating the cylinder, placing the revolver on his head and pressing the trigger. But it came empty. Kate knew that these bullets were meant for both of them and he was aiming for their heads. Wearing a vest had proven useless.

Before he could point the revolver at Castle and press the trigger, Kate gripped his wrist and twisted it. The gun dropped to the floor with a thud. He grappled her but Kate was able to shake him off. Castle was caught in the quickness of it all. He tried to pull Maddox away from Kate and bring his attention on him but that was a wrong move. To deal with Castle now, Maddox moved his hand throw Beckett's hair and tightly cupped her scalp. With all his force, he smashed her head against the bricked alley wall. Her forehead was the first to come in contact with the hard wall. Beckett's eyes closed shut, unable to bear the pain that passed through her body. She dropped to the ground unconscious along with a few chipped off bricks that had cracked out of the sheltering cement and dropped to the ground with her. They were the evidence of the impact Maddox's push had.

Castle couldn't see clearly in the dark but he could see beads of crimson dripping down her hair line. She was hurt and his vision blurred as his eyes started to water just by the sight of her blood.

'NO!'

He didn't care to arrest him. He now fought to kill him.

Castle threw himself at him. All he could see was his back as he was still facing Kate. He swept the world out of his feet and showered his lying body with kicks. Maddox groaned in pain. Castle felt his muscle strain, he felt tears running down his cheek in endless stream but all he could think about was her. He kicked and kicked till his legs started wavering. He let out a breath as Maddox closed his eyes. He took the minute of relief to signal Ryan.

He had to give the signal and get some help. There was no way out. But it would take five minutes for them to come here. Suddenly five minutes looked like five hours to him. Anyway he signalled.

"_Get him Ryan! Kate and blood and...Come fast!" _He shouted close to the wire.

He was panicking and shivering but soon he was pulled to the ground as well. All he could think was what this man was made up of. Maddox held him to the ground by pressing his neck against it. He punched his face, giving many cuts and bruises.

'Go. To. Hell. Bastard...' Maddox said between punches.

Castle could feel his life flash before him. Mother... Alexis! He thought of all those things he wouldn't be able to do. He wouldn't be able to kiss and praise his daughter again... he wouldn't be able to tell her how proud he is of her, how much he loves her, he wouldn't be able to give her away at her wedding. He wouldn't be able to tell his mother how much he respects her and how much she actually inspires him. He wouldn't be able to place a ring on Beckett's finger, wouldn't be able to see her walk down that isle and live with him forever. He wouldn't be able to change her into a Castle and make Castle babies with her. Most of all, he wouldn't be able to live happily ever after with his family... maybe fairytale endings aren't after all real.

With every punch he could feel the light getting knocked off his eyes until the adrenaline kicked in. His face became numb and he now experienced how death felt like.

Maddox decided to end this quickly. He moved towards the gun lying there. Taking it into his swollen red hands, he was about to fire when suddenly he heard a loud BANG! The sound was deafening.

A bullet had already been fired.

Castle felt his face. It was badly stinging but no bullet hole. He tilted his head towards Kate.

_Oh Kate!_

There she was, holding a gun and looking at Maddox as his body dropped to the ground. She had hit him right between his eyes. His still and breathless body was a clear example which showed that violence is self consuming. She dropped the gun, unable to bear the weight. Castle crawled towards her and rested her head carefully on his lap. She looked at him, eyes watering as she stared at his face. He looked miserable. His face was red, his nose bleeding, lips swollen and his face having innumerable cuts. He was going to have a black patch around both his eyes. It hurt her to see him like this.

'You okay?' she whispered and Castle just nodded, unable to stop the tears of relief when he heard her beautiful voice. The voice he thought he was never going to hear again.

'I love you...I love you so much Kate...' he broke, unable to stop himself.

'I know...I know...I love you too, you hear me!' Kate tried to console him but she was so overcome by emotions herself.

'Mother, Alexis... you! I thought I was never going to see you all!' he said between sniffs, unable to wipe the tears, it hurt, his cheeks were burning as saline water trickled over them.

'It's over, it's done, he's dead!' Kate said, reassuring him. He looked so fragile that it broke her heart.

Soon the area was flooded with cops. A fleet of cars were gathered outside the small opening of the alley. Ryan was right, they were there in five minutes but a lot had happened in such less time. Beckett and Castle didn't care. They were lost in each other.

'He wasn't bluffing...' Castle stated as he saw the revolver lying beside Kate. Kate had killed Maddox with his own weapon, the one he was going to try on Castle before.

'You saved me twice...' Castle said, tucking his face into her collar bone.

'I'll never stop loving or saving you Castle! Make that clear in your head... writer man' Kate softly spoke as she felt his tears on her collar bone. She just wanted to kiss away all his sorrows; he looked so lost and broken.

'I'm lost without you...' he told her softly, tears still rolling.

'I know, I'm too...' she said, placing a kiss on his neck. He closed his eyes for a brief second, the contact making both of them smile at the new chance they'd been given. It had all ended where it had started.

_BOOM!_

Soon the smile they shared now turned into utter horror as they heard a blast. Clouds of smoke were coming out of the construction building facing the alley

_Esposito..._

Supporting each other they rushed out of the alley into the street where already fire-fighters were at work, trying to control the flames, extinguish them. Ryan must have heard the conversation.

'Castle... Espo...' Kate whispered as the feeling of victory turned to defeat. Castle just hugged her tightly, unable to decide what to say. Beckett sunk into him, closing her eyes as soft cries took over her body.

'Oh no... Javi...'

Esposito was like a brother to her, standing with her through all the rough times in her life. She had lost everyone close to her, Montgomery, Royce, her mother and now Javi... she didn't know whether she'll ever be able to cope up with this loss. The sadness of losing him was far greater than the joy of killing her sniper and exposing the men behind her mother's murder. Maybe her life was full of darkness.

'I'm so sorry Kate...' was all Castle was able to say as he rested his chin on her messy hair. He had lost a dear friend and the thought of not seeing him again made him shiver and uncork the bottle of tears again. They just stood there, shaking, holding each other.

'Castle! Beckett! We defeated him...' the jovial voice of Ryan made their heart sink further more. Maybe he still didn't know that his best friend, his partner in crime was no more.

'Why do you two look so broken?' he asked, with a big smile clearly evident on his face. They didn't want to wash that off with the news but they had to.

'Ryan, Javi was...' Kate started but her voice broke.

'Yes Espo's in the ambulance, he escaped before the bomb went off... he's fine!' Ryan said, trying to figure them out.

'OH you two thought...' He started but Castle just pulled him in a hug.

'Wha- he is?' Kate asked with teary eyes. Ryan nodded innocently, smiling at them.

'Kevin Ryan I love you...' Castle said, as he gave a sigh of relief. Beckett wiped the tears instantly and smiled, joining them in a group hug. _Thank god!_

They all were interrupted by Lanie.

'Kate, you finally caught him...' she said excitedly, taking both her hands into hers.

'Oh my god, what happened to your...' she started but then she saw Castle.

'And... What happened to your...' she asked worriedly. She was glad that they were fine but she needed to fix them up.

'Ambulance NOW!' she said in a commanding voice as she headed towards the ambulance, making sure they followed. Castle and Beckett started walking slowly after her, holding hands when they were stopped by Gates.

'Mr Castle... Detective' they turned to look at her.

'The files are with me, tomorrow they'll be released to the public and each and every one behind this dirty conspiracy will be exposed... I would just like to thank you Mr Castle and Detective... you did a good job!' she said, smiling widely at them. They were reminded of Montgomery, how he always used to tell them after every case that they did a good job. Maybe Gates wasn't that bad?

'And I'm glad you're fine... both of you...' she said, looking at Beckett and then Castle.

'Detective, take time to recover fully as your desk is waiting for you...' she said and then walked away, leaving a grin on Beckett's face. She was still a cop.

'I'm sorry Kate, I didn't tell you about Gate's invol-' Castle started but Kate didn't let him finish.

'You're actually the responsible one here Castle...' she spoke and that much was enough for him.

'And now we're equal... ten-ten... I saved you twice today bringing me to a total of ten...' she said, teasingly to him.

'You're keeping score?' he asked as they started walking towards the ambulance again. Beckett just lifted her gaze to look at him, the white glare of the open ambulance door lighting her face like a spot light.

'Well someone has to keep a check... I'm sure you'll be the one making last minute additions to the guest list on our wedding...' she simply said and started walking. Castle just stood there absolutely stunned at what she'd just said. _Our wedding. _That did sound nice. Well... they were already living together. Maybe the 'happily ever after' part really is true. Kate was now a few steps ahead of him when she turned and asked-

'You comin Castle?'

Castle just tried to control his joy and nodded, sprinting quickly to keep up with her.

'Y-yeah...'

Hand in hand, they walked towards the ambulance where an extremely impatient Lanie was waiting for them. Castle's many dreams had come true these past few months. He hadn't obviously dreamt of her leaving him the morning after a passionate love making night, but it all had led up to this. In just a month they were at a place where it would've taken them a year to reach. The past month had made her realize his importance and let her know his tough side which was always willing to stand with her. The past month had made him realize her vulnerable and wanting side which needed him more than anything, more than she showed normally. Both completed each other and most of all, this last month had made them realize that they were lost without one another... totally lost.

They maybe two completely different personalities but one thing they both knew was that-

"_They need not think alike to love alike."_

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_**So I'll write another chapter, epilogue... let's see. All of you who are following this story, do take out a minute to review, it'll make my day. :)**  
_

_**I hope you liked it! Tell me. Your reactions and thoughts matter :D**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – Epilogue**

**A/N: **This is the last chapter to this story! A big thanks to ALL of you for sticking with me. I hope you like this chapter. Now is the chance to share your views on this chapter or the story as a whole.

- To all those who reviewed and encouraged me with every chapter, thank you so much! This chapter is dedicated to you all!

- Pardon my grammatical errors.

**Disclaimer: **These characters don't belong to me though ABC and AWM are doing an awesome job with them ;)

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_**Nine months later...**_

Castle's bedroom was bathed with morning rays of the sun, making everything look rich and golden. A crumpled white bed sheet covered Kate's smooth skin like a robe. With her big dark eye lashes still hiding her eyes, with her pink and moist lips curved into a small smile, with the slight glow on her beautiful angelic face, she looked like someone who had never experienced how distress or darkness even felt like. There was no trace of sadness. Moving in her sleep, she roamed her hand on Castle's side, wanting to touch her companion for life but her hand came out empty. She tried again but instead of feeling his masculine arms, his breathing wide chest, her hand found a note lying in place of him. Rubbing the sleep off her eyes with the other hand, she brought the piece of paper to her gaze, immediately recognizing his handwriting. She read:

_Sorry Kate._

_Last minute meeting but will be back for dinner. See you then._

_Also, Alexis and mother not at home, the loft is all to you._

_Love you! – RC_

Dinner? That was like twelve hours away, what was she supposed to do on her day off without him. She decided to take a bath, a long beauty bath in a bath tub, with the hot bubbly scented water soothing and massaging her skin. Maybe she can imagine the water as his soft hands, touching her everywhere and making her all wet. She was hopelessly in love with him.

She climbed out of the bed, to the bathroom and was surprised to see that he had made all provisions for a beauty bath. She was all ready to lie back, and let the calming scents and smooth water envelop her senses. She dipped her toe into the foamy water to feel the temperature, it was perfect. After submerging completely, she saw another note lying near the soap holder.

_Kate, I'm glad you liked it. _

_This kind of makes our little dip into the Hudson not so bad right? This soft textured bathtub contains a glass full of that water (Yes I got a bottle filled for this) Just want you to cleanse your body off fears._

_Always – RC_

Kate just smiled at how fast his mind worked. He was up to something. She remembered the Hudson River and that dirty water. He had saved her and was making her replace that disgusting drowning memory with this sweet memory. This was what Richard Castle knew how to do best. He was definitely up to something.

After taking a long bath, mostly thinking about how good it would have felt to have him in there with her, Kate slipped on a button down white shirt and jeans. She decided to cook something for herself as a long day lay ahead of her. What the hell was she going to do? She walked to the kitchen and was about to open the fridge when she saw a note sticking on it.

_Hey beautiful, miss me already?_

_Anyways, I've got some ice cream stocked for you but only after a proper breakfast. Sweet tooth. Don't ice creams make freezers look inviting? _

_Forever - RC_

This was interesting. Freezer, the place where she had almost died in his arms but they had made it out of that suffocating place. She had blacked out before she could tell him how she felt. Freezers always sounded chilling and scary to her after that but maybe it was now a part of something important. Castle was using all these dark memories as a skipping stone to get at something and Kate's spidy senses were tingling. She decided to play along. Unable to control herself, she took the tub out of the fridge and dug a spoon. She took three full bites, licking the spoon and kept the tub back. Delicious... maybe more afterwards.

She decided to make some bacon and omelette. She took out a black non-stick pan from the shelf below and lit the stove, keeping the pan on it when she saw another note. She smiled at the sight of it.

_Katie, honey, sweetheart, darling..._

_Be careful with the stove, I don't want you to get burned._

_I'm not there to brave the hellish flames and get you out now am I?_

_All yours – RC_

Kate was having a flash back of the day her apartment blew up. Actually now it reminded her of bacon and omelette, thanks to Richard Castle here. He knew how to play with her mind. She smiled at the thought of him brooding and sitting bored in a meeting right now. Where was he? She wanted him now!

Quickly she made herself breakfast and after she was done, she just placed the dishes in the dish washer, though washing the pan herself, passing some time. She thought of watching some television and headed towards the cosy leather couch where the remote rested as well. That's when her eyes moved to the stick on note, stuck on the remote.

_Katherine Beckett, I've set the timer for your favourite show temptation lane. Though I guess you should record it as something's going to happen that will change our lives. I'm not speaking about dirty bombs here, something pleasant._

_Till Death do us part – RC_

He had covered most of the life altering and near misses, also he had substituted them with a more sweet memory. She remembered that day when he had saved not only hers but the entire New York city's life, by yanking those wires out. He was a man, not a boy. She had all notes in her hand and she went through all of them once again. The beginning in all was different and so was the ending. She connected the endings together. Her detective mind was at work.

_Love you!_

_Always_

_Forever_

_All yours_

_Till Death do us part_

'Aww Rick' she whispered, bringing the notes to her nose. They smelt of him. She knew she was acting insane, love sick, nauseating but she couldn't help it. She just wanted him to be there. Right now.

She closed her eyes, resting her head on the back of the couch. She decided to call him when she heard the front door click shut. She turned and looked at the person standing there, taking off his coat. It was him. Her silent wish had come true. Three hours, he was there in three hours and it felt like three days to her. She at once got up and ran towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. _Oh it felt so good._

His had moved around her waist, pressing her tightly against him. He was breathing her in and gathering courage for what he was going to do next.

After a minute, he broke the hug and looking into her eyes, he kneeled down, before her. He took out a red cushioned box containing a sterling silver princess cut wedding ring. With shining blue eyes he said:

'Katherine Beckett, I've been preparing this for a month now, so... umm... I- you- said you wanted intimate, this is the first time I'm going for intimate...' he chuckled, as Kate looked at him struggling with absolute love and happiness in her eyes. She already had an answer but wanted to hear him say it. He continued.

'I went to your father this morning... I just want you to know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, every minute of it, I want to kiss you every day, and I want to have babies with you... I want to spoil them rotten, I want to marry you... because you are extraordinary' he said, nervously but lovingly to her.

'We've had so many near misses Kate... I couldn't have survived them without you and I want to replace all those dark memories with bright ones! I want to see you smiling because when you smile, I smile too, not because of the jokes or funny cases or foolish things I do... but because I get this feeling of achievement that it's me who painted that smile on your beautiful face! It's me; I want it to always be me... So I'm going to ask right away... Kate, will you be my third time's charm?' he asked, a little scared but quite sure.

'Of course! YES!' Kate said with teary eyes, as he placed that gorgeous ring on her finger. She jumped on him and kissed him passionately. He fell to the ground, with her on top of him, making out with him on the floor that very moment. She slipped her tongue inside and he parted his lips willingly. His hands moved all over her body, touching her, feeling her while his lips moved on hers. Sliding his wet lips along her cheek bone, he placed small soft kisses all over her face, on her chin and then sucked cravingly at the soft spot on her neck. He wanted her and this want had grown after placing a ring on her finger. She moaned. _So good._ She wound her legs around his waist as he turned them over, with him on top. She moved her hand through his silky hair while he worked on her neck. She dug his face even more into her chest. She wanted more than this. She tore his shirt apart, buttons falling down to the wooden floor. She pulled his chest tight against hers, the warmth of their bodies mingling and creating an environment of lust and longing. She suddenly pushed him away when her need overcame her. He knew she was getting restless; he easily parted from her and let her lead him.

She stood up, helping him up as well. She unbuckled his belt and slid it out of the loops. She dropped it to the ground with a clatter and her other hand grabbed the now empty loop. Toying a little with it, she pulled him closer and planted the most amazing kiss on his lips. He intertwined their hands, placing a kiss on the ring.

'Hitched for life...' he whispered against her hand. She smiled at his words. _Hitched._

She led him to his room, to a surface more soft and comfortable than the floor for what she needed badly. Her finger all the way playing with the classy, simple but gorgeous ring as she led the way. She did it roughly, throwing him on the bed while closing the door with her leg. He landed on his back, smirking at her restlessness.

'Make love to me... husband...' she said and in less than a second, he was on it.

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So how was it? This chapter or the story as a whole. Just share your thoughts! :)

**Status: **Complete.


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